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Everyone’s doing a “naked issue” these days. ESPN the Magazine has one. Allure magazine has one. Sports Illustrated does. (Okay, they don’t call it that, but the certainly are not afraid to free the nipple in their “swimsuit” issue.) And so does Women’s Health magazine. Today we will be discussing that last one because, well, it just came out and it also features one ridiculously fit 45-year-old actress named Sofia Vergara.

Of course, Sofia being Sofia she had very little filter and a heavy dose of humor when it came to discussing getting naked and posing for the issue.

“I told [my rep], ‘I’m going to be 45 years old! Stop putting me in naked things! Let me age with dignity!’ People say, ‘Oh, you look like you’re in your twenties.’ Well, it’s not true. Our skin is different.” She tugs at the not-exactly-loose flesh on the back of her tan hand. “I had never thought of the word pore, then I’m like, ‘Sh-t! What do I do with these?'” Still, Sofia couldn’t say no. “Here’s a woman, 45, being able to show her body. It’s not like before, when it was just young girls.”

As for the poses Vergara chose for the shoot, well…

“We were shooting Bent in Rome, and I was eating like I’m on my honeymoon — how can you not eat in Rome? I ate like an animal!” She also wasn’t exercising and then came home with pneumonia two days before the cover shoot. Sick in bed, she looked over photos of potential poses sent by the creative team. “They’re all of tall models holding their boobs with one arm. But I can barely cover my boobs with two arms — I’m a 32-triple-D!” Using both hands, she squeezes her breasts, paying no mind to the women eating scones or the harpist playing nearby. “My boobs are real, and I had a baby. If I grab them, I can’t even cover the nipple!”

And that is why we are such big fans of Sofia Vergara. It also doesn’t hurt that she, much like Fergie, who we saw on Thursday, appears to be aging backwards.

Remember how awhile back we shared the fact that a couple of women with famous connections, Camille Kostek and Jasmyn Wilkins, were trying out for the 2018 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue? Yeah, well they aren’t the only models with ties to professional athletes taking part in SI’s casting call.

Haley Kalil, the wife of Carolina Panthers offensive lineman Matt Kalil and sister-in-law of Ryan Kalil, also a lineman on the Panthers, has made it to the finals of SI Swimsuit’s 2018 model search.

Here’s a little of what Sports Illustrated had to say about the rockin’ redhead who has made it to their Final 15…

Haley’s love for our own Jessica Perez and her undeniable sweetness immediately won us over, but there’s so much more to this Southern-based bombshell. Haley is the former Miss Minnesota 2014, who now works as a lab tech and loves traveling every chance she can get.

And here is what you came for: some pictures and videos of Haley showing exactly why she’s made it all the way to the finals…

See more pics and learn even more about Haley Kalil over at Sports Illustrated.

As I mentioned earlier, there are several women who have made it to the Final 15 of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue model search for 2018 which ties to famous people. You’ve got Haley Kalil, wife of Panthers lineman Matt Kalil. You’ve got Camille Kostek, the kinda, sorta girlfriend of one Rob Gronkowski. And you’ve got Jasmyn Wilkins, daughter of former NBA player Gerald and niece of NBA Hall of Famer Dominique.

One finalist though is actually known for something other than being related to or dating someone famous and that would be Olivia Jordan – a woman we have covered here many, many times before. That’s because Jordan was not only once name Miss Oklahoma, she also went on to win the whole shebang and became Miss USA 2015.

So to say that we are big fans of hers and hope that she ends up qualifying for the 2018 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue would be an understatement.

Here’s a little sampling of the reasons why (a) we’re big fans and (b) she’s made into the Top 15 of this years SI Swimsuit model search…

See more pics and learn even more about Olivia Jordan over at Sports Illustrated.

Via Beyonce Instagram

Beyonce hasn’t been posting much in the way of sexy photos because she has been busy giving birth to her twins Rumi and Sir Carter. But the kids were born on June 13 and the pop star decided to let loose on a drinking date with husband Jay-Z. Beyonce unleashed her other twins in one enticing photo where she is drinking brandy or cognac from a snifter glass.

Can you say milk jugs?

She posted more other swollen images.

Did Jay-Z remember to bring the cookies?

[Uproxx]

Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee’s chart-topper “Despacito” became the most-viewed YouTube video of all-time, ousting “See You Again” from the top spot, much to the chagrin of Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth. Maybe “See You Again” could have kept the crown if they had the foresight to feature a beautiful model in the video the way that “Despacito” does. One glimpse of gorgeous Zuleyka Rivera, you’ll understand why ‘Despacito’ is the most-watched video of all-time with over 3 billion views.

The song of the summer has an astounding 3,031,749,208 views and one could imagine that the vivacious Zuleyka plays a big part in all of those clicks. The stunning Miss Rivera is a quintuple-threat: actress, TV host, dancer, model and beauty queen. At the age of 18, she won the titles of Miss Puerto Rico Universe 2006 and Miss Universe 2006.

Whoever put the fantastic Zuleyka Rivera in the “Despacito” video knew what they were doing.

[Maxim]

Hilary Duff, Snapchat

Hilary Duff, long-time actress and 29-year-old mother of one, has ZERO time for your body-shaming. Like, ZERO. In fact, she has so little time for it, that over the weekend she shared a picture of herself in a swimsuit and proceeded to tell all of those getting ready to say something negative to “kiss her ass.”

Apparently she’s tired of certain publications printing pictures that point out various celebrities’ flaws. So instead if hiding from it, she clapped back hard.

She wrote…

“I am posting this on behalf of young girls, women, and mothers of all ages. I’m enjoying a vacation with my son after a long season of shooting and being away from him for weeks at a time over those months. Since websites and magazines love to share ‘celeb flaws’ – well I have them! My body has given me the greatest gift of my life: Luca, 5 years ago. I’m turning 30 in September and my body is healthy and gets me where I need to go. Ladies, lets be proud of what we’ve got and stop wasting precious time in the day wishing we were different, better, and unflawed. You guys (you know who you are!) already know how to ruin a good time, and now you are body shamers as well. #kissmyass ✌”

Here’s the photo in question…

Preach, sister. Anyone has a problem with how you look, just send them over to me.

Then, just to stuff in the haters’ faces even more, Duff also went to the bikini on her trip…

Anyone got a problem with that? Didn’t think so.

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I don’t think I know anyone who isn’t a fan of Alison Brie. It’s pretty hard not to be considering the roles she’s played like Annie Edison on Community and Trudy Campbell on Mad Men (at the same time too). She also voices Diane Nguyen on BoJack Horseman and once again killed this summer on the new Netflix comedy-drama series GLOW.

Throw in voicing Unikitty in The Lego Movie and appearing in movies like Sleeping with Other People and How to Be Single and she’s already had herself one hell of a career and she’s still just 34-years-old.

That’s because no matter what she does she just has the kind of look and personality that makes her seem like someone you’d like to hang out with. I can even let slide the fact that she’s somehow married to Dave Franco.

Especially when I am reminded like I am today at how uninhibited and fun she is with these photos of her on the red carpet at some Hollywood Foreign Press Association shindig.

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Like I said, I don’t know how anyone could not be a fan. What’s not to like about her?

Rihanna looks good. Rihanna looks REAL GOOD. So good that if your girl caught your jaw hitting the floor as she passed, she’d rub your back softly and whisper in your ear “I know, baby. I know. You’re human.” So good that a TSA agent would “randomly” select her for a security screening at the airport. So good that Tim Tebow would burn a bible just to smell her hair. THAT good.

The 29-year-old was wearing a bejeweled bikini at the annual Crop Over Festival in her native land of Barbados. The Crop Over Festival is a West Indian celebration marking the end of the sugar-cane harvest. You’re not reading this, are you? Of course they aren’t, Matt, you idiot. You’re the human incarnation of the “Are You 18?” before you enter a porn site. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.

Ok, ok. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

You thought I was kidding didn’t you. Tell your friends, far and wide: Rihanna looks good. Rihanna looks REAL GOOD.

I’ve never, ever, EVER understood couples like this who share information with each other. What possible need is there in the world to know how many dudes your lady had been with before you, or when and where she lost her virginity (or vice versa for the ladies). All this does is create a database of people that neither of you is going to be cool chilling with. Beyond that, it can cause a great deal of insecurity.

I’m typically the furthest thing from insecure, and you’d know this if you’ve read my blogs long enough. I was born with a completely undeserved cockiness. That cockiness was shattered at one point in college when the girl I was seeing told me her previous boyfriend had just inked a multi-million dollar signing bonus with an MLB team. I won’t give you the guy’s name, but I’ll say that he’s been a starting Catcher in the AL East…I don’t need to know that my sexual prowess is being measured against a professional athlete.

As for this clip, it comes from Cut Video. They’ve done a few videos that are similar to this in the past. There were these two clips of people telling their parents how they lost their virginity. This latest video appears to come from the same set of couples who appeared in a video last week telling each other about the best sex they’ve ever had with one of their exes. So if you’re looking for some more cringe, check that out.

Can you imagine having The Hoodie for a stepdad? I can’t decide whether that would be awesome or awful. My guess is that it’d be pretty awesome, because Bill Belichick actually seems to be a completely different dude when he isn’t doing New England Patriots stuff.

I mean, did you see that photo shoot he did with his girlfriend Linda Holliday for Nantucket magazine recently?

Wow, right? Aye, aye, captain!

Speaking of Belichick’s girlfriend and potential stepkids, I had no idea that Linda Holliday had twin daughters who like to do a little modeling. Their names are Kat and Ashley Hess. Kat was born first, according to Holliday (by 7 minutes), and they turned 25-years-old earlier this year.

Apparently the Hess twins are famous enough to try and crank out a living 21st century entrepreneur-style on Instagram and with their own web site where they do some modeling and talk about fashion. Or at least that’s what they are aspiring to be. So far they’ve only got around 15K Instagram followers, but it’s not for lack of cool stuff to view.

Check out some of the highlights from their shared account below (just don’t ask me which one is which)…

Every few months or so we like to check in on Abby Hornacek, the daughter of former NBA player and current New York Knicks head coach Jeff Hornacek. It’s just one of those things we do that makes our day better.

That’s because, of all the celebrity offspring we’ve covered over the years, and there have been many (mostly the daughters though, go figure), Abby is one of the coolest people we’ve seen. Not only is she (a) daughter of a pretty darn good NBA player and coach, she is also (b) super athletic having played played varsity sand volleyball at USC, where she was also a Kappa, and (c) she covers sports for a living doing some work for ESPN, FOX Sports and Stadium.

Oh yeah, she also can handle a basketball better than probably a very large portion of you bros that are reading this right now.

Check out this video she just shared to her must-follow Instagram account where she shows off her handles, drains threes, and even dunks (her hops are only slightly better than her dad’s)…

https://www.instagram.com/abbyhornacek/

Heck, she can dribble better than most of us even when she’s wearing freaking heels…

Yep, this is a woman who is most definitely going places, bros. Hopefully one of those places will be on our television sets a little more often.

29-year-old star of the hit CW superhero show The Flash, Candice Patton, may be a relatively new name to many television viewers, but it’s not because she doesn’t have any experience. Quite the contrary, in fact.

Patton actually has been acting professionally since freaking way back in 2004. Let’s do some math here. Hold on…carry the three… That would mean she started acting professionally around the age 16 or so.

She started out on some soap operas, first on The Young and the Restless and then The Bold and the Beautiful and Days of Our Lives. She even appeared in three episodes of Entourage in 2009 as Dan Coakley’s Assistant.

Mostly though, her roles were smaller parts almost never lasting more than three episodes on a show until she was cast as Tori on BET’s The Game in 2013. That one lasted 8 episodes.

Then she finally hit it big when The CW started up The Flash in 2014 and landed the role of Barry Allen’s pseudo-sister/love interest Iris West (it’s complicated) and has been killing it ever since.

Another place she has been killing it lately is in a brand new photo shoot for the latest issue of Naked (NKD) Magazine. Now I don’t know what Naked Magazine is, but they just made at least one new fan out of me. Bet you’ll be a fan too, of both the magazine as well as Candice, after you see the pics.

And since many of you may not watch The Flash or have been familiar with Candice Patton before today here are a few more highlights from her must-follow Instagram account.

Via Shutterstock / Valua Vitaly

Sanctum (actually spelled ‘Snctm’ but f**k that) is the world’s most exclusive sex party. If you’re like me, you probably didn’t even know that there are enough high-end sex parties in the world to make some more exclusive than the others. I’ve always figured there were like 5 or 6 major sex parties on the planet, one for each of the cities you’d expect (NYC, L.A., Amsterdam, Moscow, Paris, and Berlin).

Sanctum isn’t just a singular sex party, it’s a sex party that’s held each month in Los Angeles and NYC (so 24 parties a year between those two cities), and it has satellite parties during events like the Cannes Film Festival. Typically, men have to shell out $1,850 per party, or they can drop an annual fee of $75,000 for admission to every party of the year, but this option’s limited to only 11 men. Ladies get in free, but they have to send full body pictures (non-nude is okay) to Damon Lawner, the founder of Sanctum.

So what does the $1 million lifetime membership get you? Well, this whole thing started when Lawner, the founder of Sanctum, decided to release three lifetime memberships. The first two sold for $350,000 and $425,000, and he’s selling the third one for $1 million after seeing how quickly he could make a shit ton of money (at least I assume this is his reason).

With the lifetime membership, you’ll get entry to every Sanctum sex party ever and then some (via NYPost):

The plan gives you access to all parties, as well as a “24/7” erotic concierge, who can teach you everything you need to know about sex, including foursomes, BDSM and juggling multiple lovers. An “initiation ceremony” will be held at the club’s New York Fashion Week masquerade on Sept. 9.
“It gets you bragging rights, and you get to be me at the events for life,” Lawner told The Post. “Tables, special-event tickets for yacht parties in Cannes, our upcoming events in Rome and Moscow, private classes in erotic arts, all included.” via

$1 million seems like a comically foolish amount to spend on a membership to anything. To put that in context, the most expensive golf club membership in the U.S. is $312,112 (Liberty National in Jersey). But, you’re also getting a 24/7 sex concierge (whatever the fuck that is). Celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow and Bill Maher have been spotted at these parties in the past. So you’re also gaining a lifetime entrance to a party with celebs if that’s something you’re into. I just can’t fathom spending $1 million on a membership to sex parties, but then again, I can’t imagine spending $1 million on anything other than a house or boat.

The NYPost took a look at just what happens at these sex parties. So if you’re curious and what to read more just follow this link and head on over to the Post.

Twitter

We’ve progressed to a point with social media where we know our favorite athletes too well. The reason Jordan is so lauded–besides being the greatest to ever live–is because there was a certain mystique to him. We never saw him dancing in the weight room in the offseason, or firing off a salacious DM to an Instagram model, or bitching about his fucking video game ranking. But, it’s 2017 and when the NBA 2K rankings hit, every player believes he should be rated higher, and they aren’t shy in publicizing it.

John Wall is no different. The 4-time NBA All-Star was ranked 90 in 2K, the same rating as fellow point guard Kyrie Irving. John Wall wasn’t happy.

And when John Wall’s not happy, his biggest fangirl isn’t either. Mia Khalifa has long thirsted after the 26-year-old point guard. It’s evident in just one cursory look at her Instagram that her love for Wall runs deep. So, in these trying times of need, Mia did God’s work by offering up the powers behind 2K an offer they can’t refuse refused.

Mia, how bout your offer them up to me and we can just pretend he’s a 93? Hit me up in the DMs.

[h/t Total Pro Sports]

I could not be more aligned with this dude’s motives for cueing up a BBC porn on BBC. It’s the dog days of summer and we’re just about fed up with pretending we give a shit about the companies mission statement. Just yesterday, a BBC reporter could hardly make it through a puff piece segment about dogs surfing. Long work days have been replaced with sloppy happy hours and the company’s mandatory human resources video has been swapped out by two humans using their resources to fuck one another.

According to Daily Mail, 3.8 people tuned into BBC‘s News at Ten. A television source told The Sun: ‘This has gone down like a lead balloon at the BBC. It is totally unprofessional.’

Unprofessional? BBC obviously doesn’t value its employees’ work/life balance. Sad.

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Ah, to be Klay Thompson: a two-time NBA champion in the midst of a 4-year $69 million (nice) contract at the tender age of 27. The dude’s resume off the court is equally as impressive, as he’s been linked to Brittany Lucio, a former Miss USA contestant, and L.A. Rams cheerleader Cherise Sandra.

Klay is not above the Deep Creep, either. A couple months back, he was sniped lurking in the Instagram stories of a model who accurately refers to herself as “Thirst Trap.”

Most recently, rumors have been swirling about Klay’s involvement with fiery hot 25-year-old Instagram model Abigail Racthford.

Ratchford posted a picture Monday of Rocco, Thompson’s dog, as well as a picture of basketballs on a countertop and pointed message about how well she rested the night before.

“That was the best I’ve slept in a year,” Ratchford wrote beside an angel emoji. She knew exactly what she was doing.

If you’re looking for some Ratchford sextape to leak, don’t hold your breath. Her main goal is to give average dudes like you and I false hope. Thanks for that, Abigail.

“My manager was right that I shouldn’t put [my relationship] out there. … It’s never a good business move,” Ratchford told The Post about broadcasting her personal life. “You kind of have to pretend you’re single, just so [your fans] can have the fantasy of having a chance with you.”

As Andy Dufresne from Shawshank Redemption so eloquently said, “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.” In other words, a man can dream.






Ok, I’m sweating.

[h/t The Post]

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, Instagram

Growing up with all brothers, I’ve spent a good portion of my life believing that girls do not poop and that farts are a foreign concept to the female species. Granted, I’m also someone who believed the Tooth Fairy was real until I was like 16, but for many of my formative years I can’t remember hearing, smelling, or seeing a butt burp or anal snake from a lady. At least the Tooth Fairy left 25 cents as evidence of her existence.

Now, I know their clever tricks: pooping before a shower while the water runs, farting after a man to piggyback on the smell while owning none of the responsibility, etc. Nice try, ladies.

It’s only a matter of time before women are as disgusting with their bowel movements are their counter-species. And if anyone is going to lead that trend, it’s supermodel Kate Upton.

In an interview with Well & Good, Upton revealed her predilection for colonics. If you are unfamiliar with the process, a colonic, also known as colonic irrigation, is a medical procedure that involves a tube being inserted into one’s rectum. The tube transports water into the body and cleans out the colon and large intestine of any waste that’s been left behind.

“I’m also a big believer in colonics. Not only does it make you feel better — especially with all of the bad food I put in my body—but [I feel like] it helps cleanse you of any stress or any feelings you’ve been holding onto,” Upton said. “I’ve noticed a big change in everything — in my skin, my attitude, everything. You learn a lot about your body. I highly recommend it.”

Upton said that she starts every morning by having a glass of water with lemon at room temperature to get her digestion going before pounding a black coffee. I think I pooped just typing that.

Colonic irrigation, which has been praised by the likes of Gwen Stefani, Liv Tyler and Gisele Bundchen, is supposed to have therapeutic benefits by removing toxins, boosting your energy and enhancing your immune system.

But, according to the Mayo Clinic, there’s no evidence that colon cleansing produces these effects. In which case, Upton is sticking a tube up her butt for jack shit. Pun intended.

Related but totally not related:

[h/t Well & Good]

You may remember 33-year-old actress Noureen DeWulf from such shows as Anger Management and Hockey Wives. Or perhaps you recall seeing her in films like Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and The Back-up Plan. Or maybe, just maybe, you have no freaking clue who she is at all. Hey, it’s possible.

That might be because DeWulf hasn’t done a whole lot of acting recently and has instead been spending much of her time chilling with the son she had in 2015 with her Vezina Trophy winning husband Ryan Miller.

Just in case you don’t remember, let’s see if any of these pics and this old Maxim video from back in the day jog your memory.

Ringing any bells yet?

Anyway, now since her husband has taken his talents to Anaheim to do some net-minding for the Ducks (no, not this guy), it appears that DeWulf is ready to get back into action. Something she announced quite loudly with some new bikini pics and a little bit of a humblebrag.

She captioned this first Instagram photo…

it’s been 2.5 years since I had my baby and I finally feel like myself again… anyone who says it’s easy to get it all back is lying. I’ve been working out harder than ever….I’ll never have the body of my 20’s… but my new goal is to look good at every age and embrace it all.

How fortuitous for us that there was someone there on the beach with a camera handy to document her hanging out in a bikini, huh? Then again, following her around taking pictures isn’t the worst way to make a living.

Anyway, in the immortal words of John Wick, yeah, I’d say she’s back.

Noel Vasquez/Getty Images

Shocking revelation: A celebrity couple with two totally different schedules and temptations round every corner has decided to part ways.

Gold medalist Aly Raisman and former NFL tight end Colton Underwood have ended their relationship after six months of dating, which in celebrity terms, is close to a lifetime.

“We’re taking a break right now,” Underwood confirmed to the Lincoln Journal Star recently. “We’re still good friends and talk, but all that travel had been a nightmare.”

You bros may remember the 25-year-old Underwood suavely shooting his shot with the most decorated gymnast ever via a live video Q&A last August. The former Raiders tight end was introduced to Raisman through teammate and mutual friend, Andrew East, who is married to retired gymnast Shawn Johnson.

On top of training in Colorado and his girlfriend residing in Massachusetts, Underwood said the media attention was difficult to overcome.

“It put a lot of pressure on us, sure, but we had fun with it. A lot of fun date nights,” he said. “Those six months were great.”

As they say, one man’s trash is another’s treasure. Aka we can all enjoy these pictures of the stunning Raisman and tell ourselves we have a chance. Or at least a better chance than yesterday.

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, Instagram

YouTube - Sports Illustrated Swimsuit

Via ESPN The Magazine

Ya, no chance.

[h/t NY Post]

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Because the stars aligned perfectly with Jennifer Lawrence having a new movie coming out, the scary-looking film Mother!, and Vogue also happening to be celebrating its 125th anniversary we have now been treated to a new photo shoot featuring one of our favorite actresses.

The folks over at Vogue were so excited to have J-Law on their cover that they decided to not just do one of them, but four different covers featuring the Hunger Games star. Here’s a little peek at how and why they did it, along with a little dose of the usual Jennifer Lawrence sense of humor.

And here are the four covers each of the photographers and artist came up with featuring Lawrence…

Which one do you like best? I think I am partial to the second one with the gold dress. Love her hair in that one.

The next photo was also taken by the same photographers whose cover I liked the best.

Here is it in color, which is actually how it appears in the issue…

Here’s another pic from the issue that isn’t bad either…

And here’s a full-length version of that video I showed you earlier…

Good stuff.