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Remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry has a chance to participate in a ménage à trois and says that he doesn’t want to become “an orgy guy?”
Well, after reading these stories by Redditors who have actually participated in orgies I am pretty sure that I don’t want to become an “orgy guy” either.
Seriously, if you have this magical image in your head of how awesome it would be to be in an orgy, these stories might just burst that bubble real fast.
Here are some of the highlights…
Wife and I used to swing, and were in several that were fun. Generally all night affairs, so you kind of have to plan ahead.
We stopped swinging- it became too much to manage (couples/guys/girls) were constantly calling/texting/email to hang out and we’d had enough fun with it. Like- 9 in the morning- they would want to come over. I’d tell them I’m at work, and they’d be like “I’ll come over after lunch then”. No you won’t, I don’t work a 3 hour day- I’ll still be at work. Constantly. ~ KillerInYourCloset
I was part of a swingers’ group. It didn’t happen very often. But when it did, it was fantastic. Just a warning though: It’s not like in porn. In porn, the participants know why they’re all there. Right before the porn orgy starts, everyone has cleaned themselves-inside & out. The positions are discussed before hand and there’s also a time limit. There’s also no alcohol on set. ALL of the paid performers are beautiful people.
In real life, the orgy usually happens at the end of the evening. Everyone is intoxicated and filled with food from the party. Many participants(male & female) are average to below average. Not too many positions are achievable when you’ve got 10+ people piled together and there’s no planned coordination. So many different smells-none of them pleasant and they get stronger as the orgy continues. Body parts get very close to your face and many times they’re attached to the gender that you don’t want to get very close to. At the end you’re covered in the bodily fluids of both sexes and you’re trying to not slip on used condoms. ~ guywithsybian
Former swinger here: The excitement wore off after about 4 seperate occasions. It was a wonderful experience and allowed me to fuck some really beautiful women I probably wouldnt have a chance with otherwise, but the amount of time and effort that goes into scheduling something like this is a huge pain in the ass. The worst is when you get a couple (mostly the guy) who gets attached and texts you every day asking to come over and I didn’t have the heart to tell him his wife was awful at blowjobs and I was scared she was going to suck my dick right off. ~ ethanajs
Occasionally it can be very fun, but most of the time I found it to be inconvenient and even awkward because it can require complex acrobatics or become awkward. One thing I’ve always felt that makes sex less enjoyable than it could be is that people are HEAVY! Arms fall asleep, cramps in leg, etc. ~ BMGPmusicisbad
It was a lot less like Caligula and a lot more like somewhat average people having sweaty sex in open doors rooms across a little house. ~ RadiantSun
I went to a big party and in one of the rooms was an orgy. It was a little awkward for those of us who weren’t participating at first but then some guy yelled “Dude get off me!” and hilarity ensued. ~ Raven19906
It’s not ALL bad though, apparently.
Gone to the same swingers party a bunch of times. Had some amazing experiences that I’d only ever seen in porn. Literally a giant room full of people fucking. It’s initially very confronting, so a bit of wine helps, but thankfully I’m pretty comfortable walking around naked! ~ hatchetboy
Check out the rest of the orgy weirdness over at Reddit.
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