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If you’ve never had to stop while engaging in sexual activity, congratulations, you’ve never had the odd sensation of a family pet licking your toes while you’re hopelessly thrusting above your bored partner. For those of you who have had to put the kibosh on love making, you are not alone. For those of you who have never had sex, I’m sorry, that sounds awful.
Reddit user Checks_Gone_Wild posed the question: What’s the silliest reason you’ve had to stop in the middle of having sex. Here are the ultimate responses:
I have a clapper light and the sound of balls on butt cheek turned the bedside lamp on… we promptly resumed after some hysterics.
I thought it would be funny to wear my prescription monocle to bed and she didn’t notice till halfway through.
We knocked over an open bottle of red wine and it started spilling on the white carpet.
He stops and starts scrubbing it
“OH SHIT! MY DAD IS GOING TO KILL ME!”
He was 30 years old. Apparently it was his dad’s house
My diabetic boyfriends blood sugar dropped. He just stopped and yelled “JUICE!!!”
We had been going at it for awhile so my legs were pretty tired. I told my boyfriend while we we’re switching positions that my legs made me feel like a noodle, and in his sexiest, not at all trying to be funny voice, he goes: “yeah? Well you’re a tight little noodle”. He was furious with himself for saying it after I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to continue.
My wife and I were going doggy style and I kind of swept her legs out so we were doing it with her on her stomach. She immediately yelled out “remooove the suppoooorts” a la the witch weighing scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It took us 30 minutes before we started again because we were laughing so hard.
Wife finished and was waiting for me to finish. Heat of the moment and close to finishing she looks at me and says “you can do it buddy.” That was the end of it and was like a deflated balloon how fast it went down. Still joke about it…..outside of the bedroom of course.
She was on top going cowgirl when all of the sudden she stops and looks down at me with a concerned look on her face. I immediately asked what was wrong very much concerned I had hurt her or she had hurt herself. She says “I have to fart.” So I told her to do it. It vibrated my balls. We couldn’t continue because we were laughing too much.
[h/t Reddit]