Hey bro. You have digestive issues? Energy low? I got just the thing!!
*Unbuckles belt*
*Takes out micropenis*
*Starts thinking about your mom*
*Jizzes into a cup*
Drink it dude. DRINK IT. According to 29-year-old personal trainer and blogger named Tracy Kiss, drinking semen is a God send. She calls it a “sperm smoothie.”
Kiss, a vegan who is qualified nutritional adviser, mixes the semen with fruit, seeds, coconut or almond milk—but is also happy to drink it on its own. She claims that it fights off the flu and other sicknesses, gives her heaps of energy and improves her mood. She drinks a semen shake every single day of the week.
Let’s take a quick break from the semen talk so I can present you with a few pictures of Tracy Kiss. I think you’ll enjoy them.
“Sperm is an awesome product and we should stop being so ridiculous about it.”
Speaking with VICE, Kiss said that harvesting the semen is a non-sexual thing for her.
I’m not there while it’s being made. My friend just brings it round in a container, like a little takeaway tub, and I put it on my face. There’s nothing seedy about it.
She claims the semen can taste really good, depending on what her friend “has been eating.”
When asked about the backlash she’s received, Kiss mentioned tossing salad, naturally.
I’ve tasted my own bodily fluids. In sexual terms, some people put their tongue up someone’s bum. In relationships, you put fingers in holes, you taste things, and you don’t see it as cringeworthy. But when you take away the passion and say it’s scientific, people don’t like it.
This isn’t Kiss’s first run in with semen. She made news a few months back for advocating for a semen face mask to combat rosacea and hydrate her skin. A medical professional claims that semen content can be easily replicated with that of an egg yolk, but Kiss doesn’t plan to switch off her baby batter diet anytime soon.
It seems to be working fine.
[h/t SomeEcards]